Afterthoughts inspired by John Rechy´s City of Night

I´ve been thinking a bit more about the darkness that somehow can be related to other worlds, and not just the world that the narrator is describing. It doesn´t even have to be at night. It can be anytime depending on for an example the mood. The mood can be filled with dark thoughts and the time linger as if it was night all the time. Night-time with its endless stream of either lonliness or filled with joy. Shadows hanging over like deep dark clouds that simply just won´t disappear. The mortality of the heart and soul. In the book the narrator talks about being dead inside while the body lives, the mind and the soul is dead. Almost like a zombie, going through the motions, but without actually living to the fullest. Dark thoughts of pain have entered my mind and the only way to get rid of them somehow is for me to write them down. Let me come out, like a cry in the dark. Numbness feelings as my limps continue to move with the speed of I don´t know what. Just my fingers moving around the keyboard. Trying to somehow get rid of the feeling of emptiness. The dark hole that will swallow you up if you´re not careful. Mindgames playing tricks on you. Imagining things that isn´t really there, or are they? I can never tell sometimes. Somehow I get the feeling that it isn´t all in my head. That it´s actually part of a truth somehow. Whirling thoughts that just keeps spinning round and round and round. The need for someone or something comes hunting me again. Another sleepless night, sitting in front of my computer playing a game in order to get away from bad thoughts whatever they are. The escape of not wanting to feel like a complete fool. But aren´t we all fools in some wacky way. Aren´t we all special as individuals? I like to think so, it would certainly help the insomnia if that was the case. No, I´ll take that back. I truly believe that each one of us got something to give the world, the trick is to find out what it is. But the posibility feels comfortable enough for me at this moment of time.